Trauma Can Inspire The Most Beautiful Songs
How The Song "Save Me" Came To Be Written
Yes, some could say I've been through a lot and carry my weight a hundred times over in pain...but I remain hopeful, even when it feels like all hope has abandoned me.
One of my favourite songs from my new album "Gonna Find My Way", is Save me. It's a lyric I wrote many years ago during one of those "dark nights of the Soul". One of those moments where the pain gets so consuming that it starts rationalizing your most irrational thoughts. The descent into those deep, dark waters can overcome the most positive being.
I had surfed those waters before, many times, and had usually managed to get to shore unscathed. But, that night, it was different.
The following words began to swirl around the top of my head like a tornado ready to destroy everything in its passage...
"Now I don’t want to be
Lost inside of me
Now someone come and save me
Someone set me free
Now I don’t want to stay
Locked up here this way
I’m hoping that someday
Someone will carry me away"
It was a strong cry for help! I knew deep within me that I was losing control of my thoughts and I was fearful that I might very well lose control of my actions as well. It was an inner dialogue I was having with God...asking for his help, his guidance...to send one of his messengers my way. I needed comfort, assurance, empathy and hope. My feet were the closet to the edge of the cliff they had ever been. I was ready to let myself fall into the abyss. Mostly though, I needed someone to carry me to safe shores as I could no longer do it on my own.
He did send an angel my way. One that taught me the stages towards emotional awakening.
Stage one is where you review the movie reel of your life that you tend to keep hidden within your mind. The one that plays those awful memories that trigger your sadness, your guilt and your self worth...or lack thereof. It often seems to be on a loop at times, preventing any joy to be long lasting. But the exercise isn't about reliving to punish yourself. It's more about reviewing with a new intent. One of forgiveness, understanding and letting go. It's the first step to the shedding process. You shed the skin you are in so that you may bloom within a new one. One that is authenticated through your own personal intent and not a lifetime of conditioned layers placed upon you through relationships and environments since taking your first breath.
Stage two is all about becoming more aware of your thoughts, your words, your intentions and your actions. Words have tremendous power. They can wound deeply or they can heal. They can inspire or they can discourage. They can guide or they can manipulate...and so on and so on. You get the drift. I have a mantra that says "where your mind goes, the rest follows". This means that whatever I spend most of my time creating or thinking about within my mind, I tend to recreate, subconsciously, in my reality. If I spend too much time in the dark and thinking of toxic thoughts, people, memories, etc...then, I tend to attract those things right back to myself. I attract more situations and people that bring out those toxic feelings within me. The same does happen if I spend more time thinking of positive, inspiring things, meditate deeply about gratitude and love as well as repeating my usual mantras. This tends to bring me peace and wonderful opportunities to consider.
Choose your thoughts and your words wisely, they determine your reality.
Stage three is all about the awakening phase. Once you get a grip on your memories and change the way you look at them and develop a more objective review of things, they tend to lose their power over you. Once you start controlling your thoughts and words, you become more aware of your power to create your own reality. Then, you are ready to begin the "awakening of your true and authentic self". You start peeling back the layers of a lifetime's worth of conditioning. Little by little, you gravitate towards your center and the awakening begins. It is a powerful thing to feel when you finally come across something new to you, that you have no reference for, that can now be decided by only you, without influence from the outside world. It is yours and yours alone to unravel.
Stage four is when you pull it all together into a rebirth of yourself. Your truest, most authentic self.
The understanding that you are now "you". Not someone's creation of you, not someone's opinion of you, not someone's request of you, but simply the "you" you were destined to be. The "you" that God whispered in your ear at birth before the world started laying its weighted ideologies upon your innocent Soul. The elation I felt once I entered this stage was indescribable. It still is. You really have to discover it for yourself.
If you ever want to discover it for yourself, I strongly suggest you try out my "Transformational Trifecta Experience". It is a blueprint of my journey through my awakening...it is sure to inspire you to begin yours.
As you can tell by the lyrics below, even though the chorus that was swirling around my head was ominous at the time of writing it, the rest of the song, its verses, began taking on a more hopeful tone after my journey through those four stages I describe above. I completed the writing of this song after I came out of stage 4 of my "Emotional Awakening". That often happens. I start writing a section of a song and then, years later, I come back to it and finish it off. This is what happened with "Save Me". I wrote the ominous chorus during a really dark moment in my life and then returned to it years later, where I was filled with peace and hopefulness, and wrote the verses out.
The song ends up having quite a duality within it. The dark meets the light. The hopelessness meets the inspiration and faith. The end breathes the beginning.
Hit the play button on the video below and follow along the lyrics. Do you get the intent? Do you feel the tone? How does it make you feel? Where do your thoughts go when you listen along? Please share your comments in the comment section at the bottom of the blog post. I always love hearing about how others experience my art.
Save Me
(Lyrics & Music by Klaude Walters)
I feel the light of day
Come down upon me
So much more to say
So much more that I can see
My faith has come alive
Like a blossom in the spring
I know I can survive
I don’t need to fear a thing
Now I don’t want to be
Lost inside of me
Now someone come and save me
Someone set me free
Now I don’t want to stay
Locked up here this way
I’m hoping that someday
Someone will carry me away
Can’t take this anymore
I’ve had my share of pain
I’m walking out the door
Where my life can start again
Now I don’t want to be
Lost inside of me
Now someone come and save me
Someone set me free
Have I learned to forgive myself and others for all the experiences I faced in my life? Have I found ways to cope and to learn from those experiences?
Well, it's not a simple yes or no answer, but if you want to read how things turned out, you can get a copy of the book here: https://www.klaudewalters.ca/shop-books
And since the album was written for the book, I strongly suggest you get the album as well so that you get the full experience by listening to each song after reading each chapter. Much like the soundtrack adds dimension to movie scenes, this album creates dimension for the book's storyline.
For the best overall experience, get the "Empowering Trifecta Experience".
Self Love isn't taught to us during our lifetime. It is something that seems to be left to the individual to discover and resolve, almost as a quest towards the heart. I often wonder why it is this way because it is through the love of self that all other love can expand and be expressed. If there is no self love, there is no other expression of it elsewhere.
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